i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
