i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
