Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
