apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she told me i tasted like america
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize