ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
