I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
