that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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