Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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