she was so not down for the gang bang
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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