Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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