i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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