bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
