I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize