My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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