There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
