I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize