Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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