I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
