Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
