taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
