love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
