when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
