you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
