we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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