i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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