90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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