Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
