Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize