Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
