Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize