I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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