you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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