I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
