well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
