Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You are a genius and a whore.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
