It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
