I'm going to rape someone's good day.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
