i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
