it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
