I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
