Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
