weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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