i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
