Cold hands, warm shart.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize