Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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