Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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