we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
