Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's rum buckets o'clock
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
