Small penises have feelings too.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
