this boner is exhausting
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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