Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
