a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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