But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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