Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Duck Duck Cougar?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
