Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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