I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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