playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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