i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize