why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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