Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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