i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
