no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
