do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
