Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
