I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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