Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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