it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
