My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
