I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize