I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
